One of our favorite Seder foods, to this day, at the Gerson household is marshmallows.

Marshmallows? … At the Pesach Seder?

I am not speaking of some ancestral recipe for tsimmes, or a fancy dessert item, but rather the marshmallow prizes that we toss in the direction of every good question posed by one of the children during the “Maggid” portion, when we re-tell – when we are commanded to re-live – the Exodus from Egypt.  This custom that we cultivated together with, the Horowitz-Clayman Family our beloved “Seder Partners” of nearly twenty years, has proven to be an effective incentive to keep our children at the center of the action, by posing creative questions.  Unlike other times of the year, when we might establish a “cut off” of a certain number of treats, on Seder night there is no limit to the number of marshmallows that you can receive!

And when your children ask you, “What do you mean by this rite?” you shall say. “It is the Passover sacrifice to the Lord, because He passed over the houses of the Israelites in Egypt when He smote the Egyptians, but saved our houses.             (Sh'mot / Exodus 12:26-27)

The Etz Hayim Torah commentary informs us that this is the origin of the familiar Seder custom of having the children present ask the Four Questions.  All sources seem to agree, it seems, these four are just the beginning of an evening filled with sh’ay-lot (Hebrew), or kashyas (Yiddish).

The great Ibn Ezra, in his perush on the Torah understands the basic question cited by the above verse to be a curious reaction to the different manner of the protocol on this night. 

Biblical scholar Matthew Henry amplifies in his comment that ... “Independently of some observances which were not afterwards repeated, the usages practised at this yearly commemorative feast were so peculiar that the curiosity of the young would be stimulated, and thus parents had an excellent opportunity, which they were enjoined to embrace, for instructing each rising generation in the origin and leading facts of the national faith.”

And Thomas B. Dozeman, in his Commentary on Exodus, goes further to say that this is not merely a question of curiosity, but the inspiration for a pedagogic format which forms a catechism for the Jewish people.

As I look back on all of the manners and methods that I could have done more effectively as a parent, I revel in the satisfaction that, if nothing else, I empowered them to ask good questions, and know that, as they grew, they did not feel that this freedom to question was contained to one or two nights of the year.  As a teacher in the classroom, I always reward the student who asks a great question with praise (and, not too infrequently, the consolation that it was such a great question that it does not have a simple answer!).

It is better to encourage children to ask questions, concludes the Etz Hayim, while they are still at home and parents and teachers can respond to them, than to wait until others cause them to doubt and question.

Truly, we are a people that has never shied away from encouraging great questions. Bring it on, kids!